ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Drake has all the answers
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
