The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
