: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
