And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
