oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
