the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
