Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
