my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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