Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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