Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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