Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He better not be in your backpack
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
