Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
