so explain again why im purple
no
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I can't turn off my feet"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
