We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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