Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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