Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Someone shit on the floor
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
