We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize
