Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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