I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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