I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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