just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize