found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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