I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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