I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
