I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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