Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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