margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
