so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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