If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
How does one acquire holy water?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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