Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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