So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
