i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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