Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
