i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
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she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
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I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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