by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
