i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize