I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just pee around me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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