tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
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