you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
