Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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