wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
