marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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