bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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