i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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