Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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