Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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