You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
