thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
