He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
