Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
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Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
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Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize