I'll bet she douches with gravy.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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