He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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