p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
