Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
