I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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