okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
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it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
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A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
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