can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
