i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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