I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
