Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
