woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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