i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
are you so shy because you have an std?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
