I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
