matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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