I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
it's great music for shaving your balls
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
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