I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
my shit smells like andre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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