Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
We smell like vodka and hangover
She's better-looking with the mask on.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize