you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
