Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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